Wouldn’t ya know it, but it seems that the articles I seem to slap together at the last minute usually end up being the masses’ favorites. You wouldn’t believe the emails I received for the Are You A Portaguee? article last year. Hell, some of them were even from as far as Portugal and Brazil. Well, since you guys liked that one so much, here’s even more ways to tell if you’re a Portaguee (as before, I didn’t make these up, just passing them along). Continue reading »
(Sigh) Well, here it is, the Pussy Snorkel. Yes, you read right. It lets a man… well, I’m sure you get the picture. If not, check out their site: www.pussysnorkel.com. You’ve been warned.
Now I am not the greatest advocate of porn but by God where would the world be without it? I mean archeologists have found cave drawings of porn. Ancient hunters tracking, attacking, having sex with then devouring their prey! The pornographic portions of the Bible were deleted which might account for all those sexual deviants that speak the word while sexually assaulting little boys and girls and secretaries and communion wafers. Let’s just say it has always been there.
I swear the more I look at how society is either sexually repressed or sexual deviants (I lived with one recently) I see the need for porn. All people want to do is rip their clothes off and have sex with every orifice in another human or object or animal. So they kind of control this impulse looking at naked shrews and naughty bits or men in particular finding any object available and putting up it their ass and then claiming they fell on it in the shower. I read where some guy put a frozen kangaroo tumor up his ass! How desperate do you have to be for God’s sake? The excuse at the ER: “I accidentally slipped in the shower and got this kangaroo tumor stuck up me ass!” Oh those crazy Aussies!
We owe much of our technology or adoption of it to porno. Without porno, no early bulletin boards, no widespread use of VCRs, CDs, DVDs, Internet. If porn had not adopted these technologies we would not have them. We would all be still laying in a room somewhere masturbating with a huge, blue, vibrating, glow in the dark dildo 10 times a day (like the deviant I lived with recently). Think of all the fake penises and vaginas created! You should have seen some of the stuff my lady deviant had. I mean a strap on dildo that fit on a 250-300 pound woman used to fuck a guy she worked with up the ass scares the piss out of me. I was wary to ask about Mr. Toy for a long time and then found out who he was. She did this with her fellow office workers (all except one, poor guy)! Sometimes the past should be left alone. Clive Barker has never created a terror like that! That image alone will keep me awake a very long time.
So in the end (no pun intended) there is something for everyone out there. I am sure my ex will find a guy with 12-inch dong or fall for an elephant that will even hump her in the ear and she will have found Nirvana. So next time someone starts to extol the evils of porno, you know damn well that person probably has 935 naked pictures at home of little orphan Annie and her dog! ARF!
COLOGNE, GERMANY—Carnival revelers in Cologne will have to control themselves this year — authorities said Monday that anyone found guilty of what it called “wild urination” will be forced to pay an on-the-spot fine.
The government of the German city said public urination had become so widespread during the annual pre-Lenten celebrations that they have been forced to impose a 10-euro ($8.63) fine on anyone caught in the act.
“It is happening ever more often that men are shamelessly relieving themselves against house facades, in corners and house entrances, even against monuments and churches,” the city said in a statement.
Some members of the public are concerned however that because of the ordinance the long standing European tradition of a urine-based city smell will come to an end.
LONG ISLAND—A Long Island woman who sued her former church for $4 million, claiming she suffered serious injuries when a minister pushed her to the floor while trying to bless her, settled her case yesterday for $80,000.
“She was caused to fall by the Holy Spirit, but, unfortunately, there was no one there to catch her when she fell,” her lawyer, Andrew Siben, said.
The Holy Spirit, however, denied any involvement in the fall saying only, “I never touched the woman. She’s crazy.”
Church officials stated in a press conference that, “The $80,000 is coming out of a fund used to help feed homeless people, support a battered women’s shelter and to buy Christmas presents for Long Island orphans—no big deal.”
BEVERLY HILLS—According to the Associated Press, actress Winona Ryder pleaded innocent Tuesday to four felony counts of theft, burglary, vandalism and possession of a controlled substance, the Los Angeles County district attorney’s office said.
Ryder was arrested Dec. 12 for allegedly stealing about $4,800 in clothing from Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. Police said she also possessed the painkiller Oxycontin, a morphine derivative, without a prescription.
The 30-year-old actress faces up to three years and eight months in prison if convicted, but could also be sentenced to probation.
When asked why she stole the items Ryder replied, “My God! Didn’t you see Lost Souls? I really needed the money.”
| © 2010 StrangeCrap.com | strangecrap @ comcast.net | Suffusion WordPress theme by Sayontan Sinha |
Become our close personal friend
We're not as annoying as everyone else