Another amazing fact I had become aware of pertaining to California. The list is endless and my fascination with it will always be a fresh and eager wanton feast. I was not aware of the fact that a massive earthquake had struck California years ago and had decimated the tectonic plate along its fault line. We had always been told that California would break off into the ocean and that whatever state now had the coastline would be re-named California II, Electric Boogaloo, without all the non-sense we now possess such as nuns becoming mayors of large cities when it obvious from their five o’clock shadows, they are not nuns at all. Well I could be wrong; I have met women on occasion with beards thicker than mine. Continue reading »
As long as I have lived in good old sunny California I have never awakened to find the Bay Area at a chilly 26 degrees. I almost had to wear underwear this morning to offset the chill. When I was a child I would always begin a cold winter’s day by placing myself in the clothes dryer on normal setting to get nice and toasty before I went outside to wait for the school bus. Unfortunately my mother spent a fortune on aloe vera since I suffered 1st and 2nd degree burns all over my body and whatever part of my body came into contact with snow, melted it. These were the times of the first electric battery operated heated pieces of clothing from socks to gloves to underwear. Heaven help he that wet himself. Many men lost the ability to reproduce due to the invention of battery warmed underwear, dampness and electroshock convolution. Continue reading »
Hello, misbehaving children. I am the mighty Krampus and I am here to disperse justice with my rusty chains this magical Christmas season. While all the good boys and girls will be festooned with gifts aplenty, I am here to make sure all the naughty children receive their due diligence in the form of birchings and an inevitable, one-way trip to the very pits of hell. Continue reading »
I have been aware for sometime of a hideous defect that is directly related to the supposedly healthy and life changing habit of eating organic food. No, this is not the heinous looking Burger King that causes me nightmares even when I am awake nor is it every politician in existence (they are all defective and mind dead without eating organic). I have observed them in numbers as they pathetically wander the hillsides in search of food. They are devoid of receiving any medication or the personnel that could easily solve their defects. Continue reading »
We’re experiencing some technical difficulties. Truth is, our old host’s server was infected with a worm that brought down our site and many others. I understand it’s hard for Host Department to keep their 33.9% up-time, but this was just plain unacceptable. We pretty much lost our database as a result, not to mention experienced some major downtime. It didn’t help that their support is completely unresponsive… avoid them at all costs.
So now, I have to recreate it here. Once we got a new host, an upload of old info (silly me) caused our newly hosted site to start relaying spam which got our account suspended… So here we are now. Let’s hope we can get this shit right a third time.
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