Nov 112016
 

californiaflagimage1Let me get something off my chest and hopefully get people thinking about the nonsense they post when they don’t get their way. Over the past few days I’m sure you’ve seen the posts from all the bitter California Democrats now campaigning to have California secede from the union. Before I begin let me state that I am a registered Democrat but do not support this notion. I think our electoral system works and allows for equal representation of ALL citizens. A popular vote system of government might seem like the sensible way to do things, but if you really think about it, someone running for president would really only need to campaign in a few key states (or metropolitan areas) to win an election. Complete sections of the country would never be represented. Continue reading »

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Nov 092016
 

bemfeitoThere is a fitting Portuguese term that I feel applies to last night’s election. Literally, it translates into “Good Work”. However, that is not what it means. The literal translation fails to capture the true snarkiness and almost karma-esque nature behind the meaning. The term I’m referring to is “Bem Feito.”

For instance, say a child talks back to his parents, then turns around to leave and smacks his head on the door jam: BEM FEITO! Or say someone is playing the fool and is warned to knock it off, then falls and injures herself: BEM FEITO! Or say someone is running for president and rigs the primary, threatens anyone who opposes her, holds back criminal information, abandons those in her care, dismisses a majority of her constituency and is outright dishonest: BEM FEITO!

Before I go on, I want to point out the tallies in several states. I’ll be using R to represent Republican, D for Democrat and I for a third party whether it be Libertarian, Green or something else. I want to focus on the states that voted Republican but were very close.

Continue reading »

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Sep 282016
 

spacexAt today’s International Astronautical Congress (IAC) in Guadalajara, Mexico, SpaceX (and Tesla, and soon to be SolarCity) CEO Elon Musk announced his plans for building what has been dubbed the Interplanetary Transport System (ITS) consisting of a fleet of massive, flaming dildos.

SpaceX has established itself as a revolutionary aerospace company by making, and successfully demonstrating, reusable orbital class rockets that return to land or oceanic drone ships after penetrating the darkness of space.

However successful its past attempts have been, the Interplanetary Transport System is what SpaceX has been aiming for all along: a transportation system that can take humans to Mars in order to establish a Martian pleasure colony.

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“BIGFOOT WARS”

 Psycho Killer Movie Morsels  Comments Off on “BIGFOOT WARS”
Aug 182016
 

Bigfoot Wars

This title denotes multiple wars occurring, but when we view, only one takes place… if you can call it a war. Field General Grrrgrah (At least that’s the tag on his hairy chest) growls and displays his incisors constantly in a display of displeasure at his troops. They kidnap young nubile human women and then the Bigfeet cover their breasts with mud. He is greatly dismayed and angered as well as I. At least that is what I understood the growling to mean, either that or he was complaining about a one HUGE hang nail.

One Bigfoot bites the dust and I cried at one more incredibly smelly anthropoid meeting its end. The human side in these “WARS” consist of 4 people. C. Thomas Howell (what an apt name for this movie) plays some supposedly tough-ass hillbilly who carried a sledge hammer on his back just in case someone needed a steak tenderized or railroad tie driven.

I must confess that every Bigfoot, and there are quite a few, all look just like Rob Zombie while in makeup. I defy anyone to tell me otherwise. Judd Nelson appears as a doctor simply because he was bored and had nothing else to do. Audrey Fox was cast to display her naked butt, and it is a fine butt, a butt not to be overlooked, a butt to be cast in plaster.

The cast of nobodies run and scream and die, but do we really care? I was downtrodden by the end when Crazed Hillbilly man and the Sheriff bite the dust wielding a sledge hammer and a machete. They didn’t even last as long as a premature ejaculator. If you wish to watch a plethora of Rob Zombies kill a few people, all the while singing, “More Human Than Human,” you have your film. This movie prompted me to set the world record for self-trepanation, but I only achieved 14 holes in my cranium.

— PK

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SESAME STREET MOVING TO HBO

 Loose Crap  Comments Off on SESAME STREET MOVING TO HBO
Jul 292016
 

Sesame Street moving to HBO

For those not already in the know, Sesame Street and its cast of characters, have found a new home on HBO.

This follows a decision last August where the series signed a five-year deal with HBO after struggling financially over the last three fiscal years. It has operated at a loss for some time now—loosing $21.7 million—as the money from donations, distribution fees, and—most crucially—licensing for merchandise dropped.

For the first time in its nearly 50 years on the air, Sesame Street will air new episodes—its 46th season—exclusively on the cable giant. PBS viewers will then get those episodes nine months later. Reruns will continue to air on PBS in the interim.

Executives at HBO are excited over the new acquisition. “At HBO, we are all fans of the series and couldn’t imagine Sesame Street not continuing on PBS,” Michael Lombardo, HBO president of programming, wrote via email. “We are proud to play this role in allowing it to continue on public television while at the same time seeing great value in adding an iconic series and an extensive library to HBO’s lineup.”

He added, “And we’ll finally be able to give everyone that Bert and Ernie sex scene they’ve been clamoring for.”

So what will be new? Episodes will only be 30 minutes long, for one, instead of the usual hour. This decision was made before the new partnership came about.

“It was a tough call to shorten the episodes,” said staffer Gail McClintock. “We had to reevaluate what we’re focusing on. For instance, we’ve decided to no longer even talk about letters like X, Q and Z. And we’ve axed the number 16. No one cares about 16.”

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ELON MUSK UNVEILS TESLA MASTER PLAN, PART DEUX

 Loose Crap  Comments Off on ELON MUSK UNVEILS TESLA MASTER PLAN, PART DEUX
Jul 222016
 
Elon Musk Master Plan

Elon Musk recently unveiled his ongoing plan for Tesla.

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 Posted by at 2:11 pm