Oct 052011

Steve Jobs, Apple’s co-founder and visionary former CEO died Wednesday. He was 56. His friends and Apple fans on Wednesday night mourned the passing of the tech titan. Jobs’ death did not come as a surprise. He had battled cancer for years, took a medical leave from Apple in January and stepped down as chief executive in August because he could “no longer meet (his) duties and expectations.”

Rumors circulated at first word of his passing that Apple’s latest offering, the iPhone 4S, had pushed Jobs over the edge. Frank Gillett, an analyst at Forrester Research, stated Apple “didn’t quite understand how revved up expectations had gotten.” Some users were looking for a more revolutionary iPhone 5, rather than just a faster iPhone 4, he said. Instead, “Apple is asking people to appreciate and give them credit for a highly engineered and integrated set of products and services.”

In order to draw attention away from the lackluster response to the iPhone 4S , Apple CEO, Tim Cook, unveiled the company’s new iDied, an Apple branded casket that coincidentally coincides with Jobs’ passing. The coffin touts an Apple grey color and finish similar to its Mac computers. But the wonders come when one digs deeper into its design. The iDied comes equipped with “Afterlife Wi-Fi”, a technology that claims communication capabilities with the afterlife, two 5 mega-pixel cameras—one on the inside and the other on the outside—and the ability to stream iTunes straight into the casket.

“We’ve always been innovators,” said Cook. “And this continues that tradition.” Sources at Apple revealed there were some stipulations to ordering the iDied. “Anyone ordering the new coffin must be buried in Cupertino,” said a company representative speaking on the grounds of anonymity as he wasn’t authorized to speak to the press.

In another strange coincidence, a Chinese clothing manufacturer claimed it would be shutting its doors and laying-off 3,000 workers. When asked what had led to this decision, a company spokesman said, “all future orders were suddenly cancelled and we could see no means of continuing our business venture.” The company, Thang Long Industries, specializes in the manufacturing of black turtlenecks.

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