Nov 012001

ATLANTA, GA—Michael Bautista, a 27-year-old data entry clerk from Atlanta remains oblivious to the fact that no one gives a rat’s ass about the third series of the previously popular show “Survivor”.

The series, airing Thursday nights on CBS, has proven to be completely uncompelling, and yet Bautista’s co-workers report that he spends most of each Friday discussing the previous episode, despite their insistence that they know nothing about the show. Administrative Assisant Julie Medbery expressed her frustration, saying, “He’s always going on about the Mallrats and the Old Farts fighting in the Sambuko tribe or something. None of us have any idea what he is talking about!”

Even Bautista’s close family is becoming tired of hearing about a “goat-farmer with a feather in his crack” featured on the program. Michael’s uncle, Louis Bautista, was heard to comment, “Shut your trap, already! We don’t watch the damn show! Jesus!!” before stomping away in frustration.

Bautista downplayed the negative comments, saying that, “I’m sure they’ll love to hear my theories about the tribal alliances once they catch Survivor Fever and I show them all the previous episodes that I’ve recorded!”

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