HOLLYWOOD, CA—On Monday October 2nd, an event came to pass that no human could have foreseen or even contemplated. Ben Stein defeated God, the almighty, on the game show “Win Ben Stein’s Money”. The omnipotent one lost to Stein in the final event when he failed to answer one question right and was defeated 10 to 9 by Stein.
Appearing as a 90 year old man in flowing robes, God failed to answer correctly the question, “Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of gold?”
“They are the same,” spake God in a mighty voice. The creator became unduly upset when he found out from host Jimmy Kimmel that a pound of feathers weighs more. In God’s great anger at being proved fallible, he rained sulfur and hail down upon a screaming audience. 126 people had to have emergency medical treatment performed upon them and 12 were pronounced dead at the scene. A triumphant Stein tried to ease an angry God’s disposition by kissing his butt as he usually does with contestants, but God raised his mighty arm and let fly a lightning bolt unparalleled by any in history. He smote Stein on the spot leaving nothing but a smoldering pile of ash.
“I hate these damn trick questions!” roared God. “How am I to remember every little knit picking detail in all of creation? Especially this screwed up measuring system the U.S. has come up with? What a bunch of losers! They will get theirs in the end! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”
Comedy Central when reached for comment had this to say, “Hey it was God, like we are going to turn down the Creator of existence? We thought we would get big ratings and we were right. This was one of our highest rated shows. How were we to know God would get his ass whooped? God killed Ben, that bastard! Now who will we get? Einstein is dead; maybe we can get that kid from the “Computer Wore Tennis Shoes”.
God could not be reached for further comment although every text in the world, which contained info on the U.S. measurement system, burst into flame simultaneously and were destroyed.