NEW YORK, NYâ€”Air traveler Arthur Allen ordered his bowels evacuated recently at New York’s La Guardia airport. While waiting at the airport during a four-hour layover on a trip between his home in San Francisco and London, Allen took advantage of the more spacious terminal bathrooms to defecate, preventing a need to use the small airplane toilet.
“Wow. I really needed that!” Allen said, adjusting his pants as he exited the restroom in Concourse B. He continued, “I’ve been holding back since half-way across the country, but I’m pleased to report that everything went smoothly, and I can continue my journey without fear of needing to crap in a bathroom that is smaller than a telephone booth.”
Airport spokesman Harold Griffin refused to comment on the evacuation, noting only that one member of the janitorial staff working in the area had fallen ill due to some “localized noxious fumes”.