Jul 122016

Psycho KillerIn a press conference today, presidential nominee Donald Trump reported that he had found a Pokémon in his hair after installing and playing the new Pokémon GO game.

“This is absolutely crazy!” said Trump. “This is exactly the type of thing we can expect from the Liberal agenda. Once I’m president, I’m gonna wrangle all these Pokémon up and send them back to . . . Pokéland . . . or wherever the hell they come from!”

Pokémon GO, a new mobile game from developer Niantic, uses real locations to encourage players to search far and wide in the real world to discover Pokémon. Pokémon GO allows players to find and catch more than a hundred species of Pokémon as they explore their surroundings.

“All this crazy, has got to stop,” added Trump. “These computer nerds need to be held accountable. They’re creating a bunch of mall-walking mutant lemmings with this crap. This problem is real and it needs to end now. And I’m the guy who’s going to put an end to it . . . just as soon as I find an Onix.”

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