Dec 202001
 

Ah yes, the holidays are upon us and this year our Editor in Chief, Necromancer X, has asked us all to write down some of our thoughts on this time of year. As a crime-fighter I tend to see mostly the underbelly of society and though it is true that even now during the holidays criminals are afoot, I thought I would share something nice about this time of year.

I can imagine those who know me are shocked that I have something positive to say about the holidays. Yes I do love and at the same time hate the rampant consumerism that befalls us each year around this time. And it is true that I have made statements such as “You know what I hate about Christmas! I hate the fact that this is the one time of year that people attempt to be nice to each other. If you are an ass 11 months out of the year being somewhat of a decent person for 4 weeks means shit. Be nice year round for fucks sake you fucking prick.” I also may have uttered, “I don’t get it people tell me I should be kind and giving during this time of year. You know help feed the homeless. Well forget that noise. Feed them in June and July as well you hypocritical bastard. Either do that or live with your guilt of having a better economic situation than others. That is what I do.” Yes folks your hero has been known to say and feel those things and much worse I might add, but I won’t go into that here. Do I feel that way this year? No I don’t. In fact I have felt pretty good about the holidays over the last few years.

I don’t remember how long ago it was, but I was being a cranky bastard about the holidays. Probably ranting about crowds or parking or about how fake the holidays are. My good friend and colleague here at StrangeCrap, Psycho Killer, was being my sounding board to the whole thing. After several minutes of me blathering like and idiot and once I had finally stopped foaming at the mouth, he said to me that he just looks at the Holidays as a time to let our friends and loved ones know how much we care about them. To that I had no witty or sarcastic reply. Since then I have looked at this time of year with renewed sense of joy. Though I admit I never really tried to share that bit of joy with anyone outside my circle of friends.

This year however, I have decided to do something though small in nature, I hope it will fill a child’s heart with joy on Christmas. At my daytime cover I work in a Silicon Valley corporation. Every year they put up something called a Giving Tree. This is a Christmas tree decorated with nametags and gift requests from those less fortunate. I have seen them before and never actually seriously considered pulling a name off this tree. I mean I have always managed to live with my guilt in the past so what made me do it this year. I have no idea, but I found some kid with a request for LEGOs. How could I a lover of the best toy in the world turn down a child’s request for something so cool as LEGOs? Anyway, they were a few bucks. No I am not telling you all this so that I can feel good about myself. I like the idea of the gift being completely anonymous. Much like Charles Winchester the 3rd from M.A.S.H. There was a great Christmas episode where he appeared to be a heartless bastard, but all the while, he secretly gave a gift to the local orphanage. Truly a great episode and what the Christmas is about. Nor am I recanting this event of giving to feel superior to you. We already know that I am. For God’s sake I’m a Super Hero and you are just a bunch of slack jawed monkeys barely out of the primordial ooze. (I mean that in the most heartfelt loving way.)

I don’t think for a minute that my actions and those of my co-workers who have done the same thing as I will change the world and make people think about anything other than themselves 90% of the time. But at least a few kids will have a slightly happier Christmas this year.

I almost forgot, I was supposed to come up with what I want for Christmas. Well my list is quite short.

  1. Towels – Mine are kind of old.
  2. Socks – I always need socks.
  3. An Audiotron by Turtle Beach. – If you don’t know what it is look it up.
  4. The Ability to forgive those who have hurt me.
  5. The strength to tell those who have hurt me to go fuck themselves.

I think that is it really. And I know that 4 and 5 seem conflicting but such is the life of this Super Hero.

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