NEW YORK, NY–The world breathed a sigh of relief when researchers in New York determined that Vincent Santini, a known carrier of the “Geek” gene, is incredibly unlikely of every breeding and propagating
his geekly ways.
Chief researcher Franklin Roth gleefully announced that due to his vast belly, lack of social skills, woeful hygiene, and the constant bath of electromagnetic rays from the array of monitors, televisions, cellular phones, PDA’s, and pagers surrounding him, Santini’s genetic materials should never pass into the fertile womb of a healthy adult female.
When reached for comment, Santini stuffed a handful of Doritos into his gaping maw and said, “Sorry, I was lapping the heatsink for my overclocked Athlon. What was that about a womb?”
World leaders were reported to have cheered at the announcement, with Russian President Vladimir Putin proclaiming it “a great day for the anti-geek forces among us.”