Jedi

 Psycho Babble  Comments Off on Jedi
May 182012
 

Psycho KillerPeople love certain fantastical realms in our otherwise mundane (BWA HA HA, life is ANYTHING but mundane!) world. They become obsessed with Star Wars and create an elaborate history of, say, the Jedi Knights. Do a search in Wikipedia on Jedi Knights. You will find hundreds of pages pertaining to something that does not exist. I am sure there are thousands (or frightfully too many to count) of people in their homes at night wearing their Jedi garb and waving their hands in front of their child at the dinner table saying, “This is the meal you were expecting! Not a frozen microwaved meal!”.

The children are looking at each other in anger and in unison toss their frozen meals at pop and yell, “Try and make those levitate, FREAK!”

Father, covered in spaghetti, says to himself, “EVIL SITH!!” Continue reading »

Baby

 Psycho Babble  Comments Off on Baby
May 172012
 

Psycho KillerI was reading a book last night and in it was the old nursery rhyme “Rock-a-bye Baby”. I always thought “What a horrible thing to say to a baby unless of course you are Hannibal Lecter and are grinning and salivating as you are repeating it! Aww, sauteed baby butt with portabella mushrooms and a nice Chianta, SLURP SLURP!” . As you get older you realize that mom and dad were traumatizing you as a baby, and later in life you will wonder why seeing tree boughs blowing in the wind promote a panic attack and you do not know why! I always wanted to ask my mom, “How high up in the tree was my cradle? Three or four stories? No wonder I have acrophobia!” Mom always replied that cradles were very sturdy and difficult to obtain but babies were a dime a dozen! Mom was always a kidder! Continue reading »

Bird

 Psycho Babble  Comments Off on Bird
May 162012
 

Psycho KillerYou may recall when I lived in San Jose that I had a bird return every year to a small conifer in front of my place as the slugs to Capistrano. He would eventually drive me insane since he would start singing at 4 AM and I never could figure out how he was not eaten by night-hunting carnivores. I was sure he would be eliminated from the gene pool but never was. He was my bane and I had to start wearing ear plugs to sleep and would dream of catching him and eating squab!

Last night I was watching a movie name “The Locals” and during some dialogue I start hearing a sharp bird chirp. I knew it was not coming from the movie so I turned down the volume and was hearing the chirp outside my window. Why did’t the cat or raccoon with red eyes handle this? I slammed the shutter and the chirping stopped. I thought maybe the bird had flown off. I resumed my movie and the chirping started again. I got up and slammed the shutters again. Silence. So what happens when I start viewing the movie again? Chirping! Is this going to go on all night? Continue reading »

Mad

 Psycho Babble  Comments Off on Mad
May 152012
 

Psycho KillerIt is a widely held misconception that a person can easily read the body language of another human and with accuracy know what they are thinking. On the contrary, it all falls into an average, which is quite low for anyone’s ability to correlate body language and thought. This average increases somewhat IF you know a person extremely well. Never assume you know what a person is thinking by perceived body language. With that said let me relate a story from yesterday.

My lead is the poster boy for anger management. He screams constantly, breaks equipment, slams doors, brings down ceiling tiles, puts fists through walls, you know, just your typical happy-go-lucky kind of guy! We love him. After the episode of him destroying a printer, I now do NOT like having my back turned to him. I really do not want to be beaten over the head with a monitor in a Tom and Jerry fashion when he gets upset that someone pointed out he is human. I, myself, doubt this at times and believe he was wholly constructed from the parts of lesser angry people. He is a super angry person. As he sleeps at night I can just hear him mumbling “@^#%$ kill YOU! *$^^%$ WALL! %@$#& burrito! %$#^ fuzzy cute bunny! I am sure his wife is cowering in the corner with a comforter pulled over her head hoping he does not wake up during the dream in which he is abusing small, adorable rodents! Continue reading »

Pain

 Psycho Babble  Comments Off on Pain
May 142012
 

Psycho KillerMy friend Rich and I went to Yosemite this weekend and it was GORGEOUS. We arrived early and had the park to ourselves, it seemed, for 2-3 hours. Temperature was wonderful and there was some snow still on the ground. I did not have to wear sun screen and no burn. Just beautiful. Lots of run off so we were mainly taking a LOT of water pictures.

We had decided to walk back to mirror lake and take some pictures. Lots of shots while we walked of the stream racing beside us. We reach Mirror Lake and there happens to be some wild life around there. Ground squirrels and Jays and Ducks and people naked doing the wild thing thinking no one can see them. I had decided to wear desert camouflage fatigues in order to carry lenses in my pockets. Rich would turn once in a while to say something to me and he would not see me, I was also almost hit by bike many a time. Here lies the problem. Continue reading »

May 112012
 

Psycho KillerIn my life I have happened across individuals that, how should I put this, exaggerate wildly their lives for specific reasons. I know you have met one. I have met four in my life that are on the extreme right of that scale. I happen to work with one at the moment and yesterday my attention became focused upon this individual due to yet another in a long line of incredible statements he proclaimed to all. There is a strange psychological reaction to these exclamations that we know are canards. There are four states I find myself in. One being I am so shocked at the claim I cannot verbally react. I am a deer frozen in headlights or a horse with its lower lip clamped. Two I have heard so many outrageous claims I am complacent and say nothing. Three, I feel sorry for the person and do not react. Four, The claim is SO outrageous that it angers me that someone would actually think I would believe something so ridiculous. Where does this mindset come from? I see it from time to time in lesser forms from a majority of people in different situations. I compiled a list and will expand upon it at a later date. Here is the claim I heard yesterday: Continue reading »