Well, no matter how much I hate to admit it, this country has gone disposable. Not only are we using products once and then throwing them away, this mentality has been absorbed into our corporate structures. We, the workers of this country, have become nothing more than numbers and statistics to our dear employers: we are in fact disposable. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that a company must do what it has to to stay in business; however, when a company is actually looking for new employees and they still treat people like plague-ridden vermin, that’s where I have a problem: corporate hiring managers SUCK!
I guess this all started when I was laid off earlier this year. Hell, with 3+ years experience in my field you’d think I’d be able to land a job after three months, let alone at least land an interviewâ€”WRONG! I just don’t understand these corporate fucks! They post an opening for a job, you meet all their requirements, you send a resumeâ€”nothing, not a word. You’re lucky if you even get one of those generic e-mail replies.
You know, I’m so sorry if I’m asking so much of you to give me 15 minutes of your time so that I may talk to you regarding the position at your glorious palace of an office building. I understand that you are very busy hitting on the chick in the next cubicle, eating donuts, playing games and downloading smut off the Internet. After all, it is only your job as a hiring manager to talk to people regarding possible employment. Yes, you read right: talk to people.
So what does that leave me to conclude? Well, you’re a prick! You are self centered, pretentious, arrogant, have a small penis and only seek to better yourself by hiring your family and friends over those who probably have more experience than you. I’m sorry if my resume wasn’t in the pristine format you deem worthy. I’m sorry that I seem over-qualified, under-qualified or not qualified. I’m sorry that if even God himself were to submit a resume, you’d scoff at it and send him a reply stating you’d received his resume and will match it with any openings and then file it in the trash for six months should anything come upâ€”yeah right. Who are you kidding? Oh, and I’m sorry I don’t know the right people, because unlike you I was too busy working instead of socializing and playing grab-ass in the coffee nook.
I only wish that some day our roles are reversed, then I can ignore you too. After all, like myself, you are not human, you don’t have a mortgage and a family, you can sustain yourself solely on the air you breathe and your shit don’t stink. So next time, Mr./Ms. hiring manager, make sure to look both ways before you cross the streetâ€”I may choose to ignore you then too.