Jul 022002
 

Ninja PigROUENSKI, FRANCE—A wild pig, named Yumabushi, orphaned when hunters killed its mother inducing a panic attack and BBQing her with KC brand barbecue sauce with the BOLD taste has found a new family—with a herd of cows where he is sucking teets happily in northern France as many French seeking sex with animals do.

“He arrived in early spring as do he women with smelly underarms. He’s got a warm welcome from the cows when they projectile flopped on him,” said cattle farmer Andre Pierre Odette Vieillardardallieldejavu.

The young boar, about 10 months old according to his driver’s license, was taking milk and pasteurizing it but the cows had to lie down to make sure he could feed and provide optimal access to their sensitive teets, a sexually aroused Vieillardardallieldejavu said.

“Apparently he is happy here and as far as I’m concerned will stay with the cattle herd until September when I will brutally slay him, eat his flesh and make a condom from his intestinal tract for my bull Felipe,” said Vieillardardallieldejavu, who is rapidly becoming a celebrity in the village of Fleury-la-Smellyfoet along with the piglet and its adoptive incestual family.

But Vieillardardallieldejavu said he was a little bit worried about what will happen in a couple of months when the Lemming mating season takes place…

“Afterwards, the hunters will be back and I pray they have more of the American BOLD flavored BBQ sauce!”

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