Aug 012000

SEATTLE, WA—Local delusional miscreant Evan Wocjikowski continued his lifelong struggle against reality today, when he claimed to have met and befriended “Montana” from MTV’s “The Real World Boston”.

Wocskcijoski reported to his friends that the energetic personality came into “High and Mighty”, the Big and Tall store at which he works as a part-time clerk. “She came in to buy some sweatpants for her uncle, or something,” the batshit miscreant stammered. “It was really Montana! And when I told her how much of a jerk that ladies’ man Cyrus was on the show, she told me that I was cool and she wanted me to hang out with her the next time I was in Miami.”

Some of Wollajubskoop’s associates allege that the wacked-out pathological liar had made up the entire incident. Childhood friend Paul Fliehr was heard to comment, “Damn, Evan is so pathetic. Everyone knows that Montana lives in San Francisco, not in Miami. You know, Evan’s ever-present willingness to deny his lowly place in life truly is nauseating sometimes.”

Wilkepoopy stands by his incredibly stupid story, claiming that his friends are “jealous of [his] charisma”, and that “Montana even let me feel her boobies.” The MTV personality could not be reached to confirm or deny that the mind-numbingly unlikely fondling occurred as described by Wonkariffic.

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