Jul 022002

DAYTONA BEACH—A 71-year-old woman lived with her husband for up to two weeks after he died, apparently unaware of his death due to the fact that they never spoke to one another, police said. Louis Winkeebean, 52, was found naked in a yoga lotus position on his living room couch in an advanced stage of decomposition and badly needed under arm deodorant, police said. His cause of death is undetermined but could have had something to do with the 32 bullet wounds in his body.

Neighbors complained of the smell and asked Shorty Heinyrider, a roofer working nearby at a gay strip club, to check it out. “When (the wife) opened the door and we asked if we could come in, she said, ‘OK, but my husband is practicing his yoga breathing exercises and has been holding his breath for two weeks so do not disturb him,” Heinyrider said.

The wife, whose name has not been released due to the fact no one bothered to ask what it was, was taken for a medical examination and a delicious new berry shake from Jack in the Box. Foul play is not suspected but there sure as hell was foul smell, but police are considering it a suspicious death due to the 3 1/2 foot medieval long sword thrust through his chest, said police spokeswoman Sonja Wiles.

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