MOUNTAIN VIEW, CAâ€”The astronomical community was rocketed into frenzy this week as supposed evidence of a heretofore-unknown civilization surfaced late Friday evening. A picture of a face in a cat litter box, hauntingly similar to those taken of the controversial Mars face in 1976 was anonymously sent to NASA’s JPL officials, proving that the Mars face may not be the result of pure coincidence that so many in the scientific community believe it to be.
“I just went to check my e-mail as I always do about that time and there it was,” reported astronomer Dr. Dale Wolan, DMAFT. “I was blown away when I viewed the picture. Immediately I pulled up the 1976 images from our database. To tell you the truth, it gave me the boo-boo-gee-bees just looking at the two side-by-side. This could be the proof we’ve been looking for.” The only clue to its origin, added Wolan, was the email address of the sender, [email protected]
Others at NASA, however, had other opinions. “This proves nothing!” retorted Dr. James Bradford, DAAL. “It’s pure coincidence, just like the ‘Mars face’. A cat litter box is just too small of an area to support a sentient, intelligent civilization. I’d love to see this litter box for myself,” he continued. “But then it was sent ‘anonymously’,” he concluded giving “finger quotations” and “winky-winky” gestures.
Even more hysteria has arisen since the picture mysteriously found its way onto the Internet. Douglas Epstein, founder of OSFILA (Our Search For Intelligent Life Anywhere), posted the picture on his web site after receiving it from an undisclosed source. The slobbering, lateral lisping teen reported, “They try to hide the truth from us,” he said, wiping spittle from his lips and moistening his braces. “We’re going to expose this picture for what it is: hard proof.” He then toasted his organization with a can of Mountain Dew.
Bernard Humpermill, another OSFILA member added, “I can assure you this picture [the litter box face] hasn’t been tampered with like those new 1998 pictures of the ‘Mars face’ and Cydonia region. Those ‘scientists’ at NASA want us to believe that it’s just a simple, natural ground formation, but it’s not. They’re hiding something! It’s a face, man! A face!” Humpermill then choked on the Slim Jim he was eating and had to leave to room to “gahk”, as Epstein had pointed out.
Whatever the outcome of this investigation one thing is for certain, hard evidence exists amid the opinions of both sides. What does this mean as to the state and credibility of the scientific and astronomical community? Not a damn thing.