Feb 012001
 

SAN ANTONIO, TX–Well-known local jerk Tim Reynolds finally got his this weekend. Acquaintances of Reynolds, all of whom consistently claimed that he was “a total jerk”, expressed their satisfaction that Reynolds had gotten his.

“I always told him he was gonna get it someday, but he would just laugh and laugh,” said surly acquaintance Dave Miller. He continued, “Well, who’s laughing now, you jerk?”

While details remain sketchy as to what exactly Reynolds “got” and what he did with it, local residents could agree that they are all very pleased that this day finally came.

His landlady, Eileen McTavish, muttered in a ludicrous Scottish accent, “Aye, that wee bastard always had it coming to him, and I’m just so dreadfully glad that he finally got his. I think we can all sleep a little better in our beds now.”

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