TALLAHASSE, FLâ€”Local homeless man, Backstreet Willie announced the grand opening of his new company last week at a press conference held behind the dumpster of Peteâ€™s Pasta Palace. â€œIâ€™s opening my bidness today marking the new hopes of thems like me!â€ said Willie proudly holding up a cardboard sign. â€œNo more will da homeless be driffen to hunger and want. What?â€
Willie then broke a bottle of Mad Dog against the dumpster and motioned everyone present to tour his new establishment which consisted of several slabs of cardboard, a few crates, a magic marker and a couple cans of spray paint. Willieâ€™s new corporation, The Cardboard Sign Training Center (TCSTC) will provide education on effective cardboard sign construction and assist in strategic street corner placement. The first of the five-day classes were scheduled to begin promptly at 8:00 AM the next morning or whenever Willie was sober enough to teach.
Willie stated that Federal Assistance is available for those who qualify. Currently tuition is set to a pack of smokes, a cup of Dinty Moore Beef Stew and some Night Train. Any spare change is also welcome.