Nov 012000

LITTLE ROCK, AK–Local area man Steve Ditrick, after 24 years of personal research, has finally discovered the perfect combination of food to produce the most potent noxious odor known to man. Ditrick told reporters he just happened upon the lethal combo while “eating peanuts and hard boiled eggs, sweet tarts and washing them down with apple juice”. He had no idea at the time as to the lethal combination until the second quarter of a Ram’s football game when he broke wind. “I felt my ass burning and knew it was pretty bad but when it burned a hole through my jeans, I knew I had hit pay dirt!” exclaimed an excited Ditrick.

“MY GOD!” Exclaimed friend Edwin Brown. “He literally fried my nose hairs out of my nostrils! The last thing I saw through the haze, before I passed out, was our friend Al running around the living room screaming and holding his head as his hair was smoldering and smoking!” Mr. Al Meranco is survived by his wife and two children. Services will held on Saturday, November 4th. Ditrick added he has been approached by a number of “interested” third world parties inquiring about his discovery.

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