TUCKAHOE ACRES, DEâ€”Henry Flimiker of Tuckahoe Acres announced to members of his local church that gnomes have been washing his underwear for the last 12 years but was afraid to tell anyone. “Once a week like magic, I find my underwear in a stack on the bed washed and cleaned and ready to wear. It is a miracle! I love the Gnomes. They never use starch!”
Reverend Paul Menki was rather irritated and was heard to reply “GNOMES? Oh and GOD is incapable of cleaning someone’s underwear? Why could this miracle not be from the father?” as he kicked Flimiker’s ass out the front door of the church and told him never to return.
Flimiker’s wife of 12 years, Henrietta heard of the incident and exclaimed, “I have been scrubbing out the skid marks from the gussets of his underwear for 12 years! Just because I am 3 foot 6, does not make me a gnome!” After speaking with Mrs. Flimiker, this reporter disagrees!