SESAME STREET MOVING TO HBO

 Loose Crap  Comments Off on SESAME STREET MOVING TO HBO
Jul 292016
 

Sesame Street moving to HBO

For those not already in the know, Sesame Street and its cast of characters, have found a new home on HBO.

This follows a decision last August where the series signed a five-year deal with HBO after struggling financially over the last three fiscal years. It has operated at a loss for some time now—loosing $21.7 million—as the money from donations, distribution fees, and—most crucially—licensing for merchandise dropped.

For the first time in its nearly 50 years on the air, Sesame Street will air new episodes—its 46th season—exclusively on the cable giant. PBS viewers will then get those episodes nine months later. Reruns will continue to air on PBS in the interim.

Executives at HBO are excited over the new acquisition. “At HBO, we are all fans of the series and couldn’t imagine Sesame Street not continuing on PBS,” Michael Lombardo, HBO president of programming, wrote via email. “We are proud to play this role in allowing it to continue on public television while at the same time seeing great value in adding an iconic series and an extensive library to HBO’s lineup.”

He added, “And we’ll finally be able to give everyone that Bert and Ernie sex scene they’ve been clamoring for.”

So what will be new? Episodes will only be 30 minutes long, for one, instead of the usual hour. This decision was made before the new partnership came about.

“It was a tough call to shorten the episodes,” said staffer Gail McClintock. “We had to reevaluate what we’re focusing on. For instance, we’ve decided to no longer even talk about letters like X, Q and Z. And we’ve axed the number 16. No one cares about 16.”

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ELON MUSK UNVEILS TESLA MASTER PLAN, PART DEUX

 Loose Crap  Comments Off on ELON MUSK UNVEILS TESLA MASTER PLAN, PART DEUX
Jul 222016
 
Elon Musk Master Plan

Elon Musk recently unveiled his ongoing plan for Tesla.

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 Posted by at 2:11 pm

Dang Blasted Pokémens!

 Loose Crap  Comments Off on Dang Blasted Pokémens!
Jul 202016
 

pokemon_lawn

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 Posted by at 2:10 pm  Tagged with:

BREAKING NEWS! Trump finds Pokémon in hair.

 Loose Crap  Comments Off on BREAKING NEWS! Trump finds Pokémon in hair.
Jul 122016
 

Psycho KillerIn a press conference today, presidential nominee Donald Trump reported that he had found a Pokémon in his hair after installing and playing the new Pokémon GO game.

“This is absolutely crazy!” said Trump. “This is exactly the type of thing we can expect from the Liberal agenda. Once I’m president, I’m gonna wrangle all these Pokémon up and send them back to . . . Pokéland . . . or wherever the hell they come from!”

Pokémon GO, a new mobile game from developer Niantic, uses real locations to encourage players to search far and wide in the real world to discover Pokémon. Pokémon GO allows players to find and catch more than a hundred species of Pokémon as they explore their surroundings.

“All this crazy, has got to stop,” added Trump. “These computer nerds need to be held accountable. They’re creating a bunch of mall-walking mutant lemmings with this crap. This problem is real and it needs to end now. And I’m the guy who’s going to put an end to it . . . just as soon as I find an Onix.”

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Recent Study Shows Recent Studies Destroying Fabric of Society

 Loose Crap  Comments Off on Recent Study Shows Recent Studies Destroying Fabric of Society
Sep 252015
 

A team of researchers from University College London, the London School of Studies and the London School of Something Else revealed that recent studies are ruining the very fabric of society.

Researchers claim that “all of these studies are simply just walking all over each other and eventually don’t mean squat.” In fact, the same researchers pointed out that 98% of statistics are prone to bias or just purely “made up”.

“I’ve conducted many recent studies in my career,” said Dr. George Stoufis from the UCL Institute of Meaningless Digits. “And this one is not much different. In fact, I expect my colleagues to release a future recent study completely negating this current recent study with some equally questionable hypotheses and randomly generated statistics. I’m already researching a new recent study to negate theirs.”

Dr. Stoufis added, “According to this recent study, we documented a direct correlation between the steady deterioration of society and the number of published recent studies. Our numbers show that the more recent studies were conducted, the more society went to crap.”

“We experienced similar results,” added researcher Dr. Stephanie Sanders. “Our recent study show that Dr. Stoufis’ recent study was 94% accurate in 85% of the incidents of societal crapification, but we only experienced a 75% crapification effect in comparison to the UCL’s 78% measured crapification.”

“Previous research has also shown that societal crapification experienced an initial decline after a recent study that measured the effects of a complete cessation of recent studies over a year’s time,” said Dr. Stoufis. “However, we found in another recent study that in the long-term, societal crapification tended to revert to its pre-cessation study status. We suspect that 35% of this reversal is due directly to Facebook and subsequent posts on current recent studies.”

A number of past recent studies claimed that societal crapification remained steady at a rate of 12%. But the latest recent study findings stand contrary to previous findings. The UCL team claims that the correlation between recent studies and the degradation of societal fabric is directly relational.

“Clearly, we’re causing this,” said Dr. Stoufis. “But further studies will need to be done to verify.”

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Jedi

 Psycho Babble  Comments Off on Jedi
May 182012
 

Psycho KillerPeople love certain fantastical realms in our otherwise mundane (BWA HA HA, life is ANYTHING but mundane!) world. They become obsessed with Star Wars and create an elaborate history of, say, the Jedi Knights. Do a search in Wikipedia on Jedi Knights. You will find hundreds of pages pertaining to something that does not exist. I am sure there are thousands (or frightfully too many to count) of people in their homes at night wearing their Jedi garb and waving their hands in front of their child at the dinner table saying, “This is the meal you were expecting! Not a frozen microwaved meal!”.

The children are looking at each other in anger and in unison toss their frozen meals at pop and yell, “Try and make those levitate, FREAK!”

Father, covered in spaghetti, says to himself, “EVIL SITH!!” Continue reading »

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