Jul 022002

JEDDAH—Makkahhakkahhaa police have busted a number of crime rings involved in running abortion clinics, black magic, gambling, forgery of Monopoly money and selling fake monkey poop.

Informed sources told Arab News that four expatriates (whatever that is) who were running “abortion clinics” at their homes were arrested for not supplying their customers with Peanut M&Ms as well as the plain kind.

The sources said that at least 40 people, mostly expatriates (Again I am sure they are something heinous), were rounded up while betting on how heavy Anna Nicole Smith would weigh the next time she is photographed. “Another group of expatriates (man there are a lot of these guys) were held with 39 kilograms (thank God for microscopes) of narcotic drugs in their possession,” they added.

As many as 24 others were picked up for practicing black magic and charging outrageous fees for their Black Magic Psychic Friends hot line!

A number of people were arrested for forging official documents to obtain telephone connections between Dominoe’s Pizza delivery boys and overweight woman trying to hit on them.

Dr. Safi Mojalledottakkaahha, director of environment health in Makkahhakkahhaa, told Arab News that about 175 Africans were arrested for distributing erotic herbal medicines, which caused serious complications in people who used them by making their genitals enlarge to the size of a bull elephants’ making it impossible to find underwear that fits.

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