Oct 102010
 

Psycho KillerLately I have had an interest in the Real (or UNREAL) Estate market depending on what time period you are looking at. Seems at one time we had a realistic view of that and the stock market and equilibrium in both. Since the .COM era and the far reaching recession it has caused, greed and unrealistic expectations have kept this in perpetual motion until the housing market had to crash to once again attempt to reach a state of balance. Who could have caused all this greed and these unrealistic expectations that people actually bought as truth? Why Satan of course, the hoary leader of the Netherworld. Why there are those that would blame our fearless government and an incredibly greedy group of sales people we must understand that Satan was standing there all along whispering into people’s ears. How else do you explain the presidents we have had for the last 20 years ?

The dark one knows just where to hit everyone where it hurts and that is in the wallet or pocketbook (why is it named a pocketbook when is never in a pocket nor a book?)   He cleaned up in 1998 when he promoted the George Foreman VS. Gary Coleman boxing match set in Las Vegas. George was boxing again and doing well and was also in good shape and besides Coleman was only a dwarf with asthma and a hammer toe. Everyone placed all their money on Forman who was a 4 to 1 favorite, hands down to win. Everyone lost their money when in a shocking upset, the first punch thrown, which was from Coleman, struck Foreman in the winky, knocking him out cold and had every man viewing the debacle holding their groins and gritting their teeth. One person CLEANED up when he had bet 243 million on Coleman and you know who that was? Of course! Old Scratch, they do not call money scratch for nothing you know. So we are used to the Dark One always playing on our greed and taking advantage of us and bringing us nothing but sorrow. I myself had a run in with old scratch in a situation that involved betting and some Tidily Winks, 2 quarts of Quaker State 10W30 and 4 prostitutes but that is a story for another time.

To come full circle back to where this began about Real Estate it became very apparent to me one day just how active in the California Real Estate market Satan is. He does not even attempt to hide it. Mount Diablo, Diablo Canyon, Lake Diablo, Diablo Valley. The list goes on. He even owns a power plant, of course the Mount Diablo power plant. Where does he find all the energy to purchase Real Estate and damn souls? Well he sucks the energy from those about to die and go to Hell but that is beside the point. Never say to him “I wish I had the boundless energy of that (Fill in blank here) baby, child, young animal.” Before you know it you have sold your soul and are bouncing off the walls and have a baby, child or young animal acting like a 90 year old. Satan also is a motivational speaker. He appears as Tony Robbins to people. Is it not odd this man is 8 foot tall and so charismatic he could charm the bloomers off the queen? I would never have known. He is also the reason that the late night talk show wars exist. He appears as Jay Leno. How else do you explain that chin?

As I did some research I saw that Satan owns about 29% of the Real Estate in California and that is growing due to the foreclosures on mortgages. I went to the nearest El Diablo Real Estate/Mortgage Company(you should see the size of the sign!) to see what the scoop was. I was greeted by an overtly beautiful woman, scantily clad and taken to her office. Incredibly I almost purchased an outhouse from her for 267K in Alviso before I came to my senses. I realized she was a succubus and that was confirmed when I sang Styx’s song “Sail Away” in reverse and she transformed into her true form. Who else but the Prince of Lies could get me to buy in Alviso?  Since I had busted this illusion wise open, she was willing to talk. It seems that Satan only hires Succubi and Incubi to work in his Real Estate/Mortgage offices. If a man or woman even has the will power to try and resist a purchase they are visited in their dreams by either type of demon and sexually coerced into buying. I myself have not been coerced in quite some time. Illusion or not, Succubi are hot.

Satan of course is also behind all the “CREATIVE” financing that has destroyed so many people, playing on their beliefs that they could actually afford a home and pay some ridiculous amount for it per month. Who else could have come up with the “Interest” only loan? Of course it was the Foul one. Balloon payments, interest only, 1 baboon pelt a month, Week end male prostituting; he came up with all of them. I know somewhere and more often then once, someone sold someone’s soul down the fire pit for a home. Well maybe someone signed away an ingratiating mother in law’s soul to get a house and that is alright since some punishment is due for already being a Harpy in real life. I myself always regret never having children when I see all the house work I would not have to do and all the money made on the white slave market. Screw the stock market, there is more to be made in slavery and prostitution and it is not as volatile. Maybe at 50 it is still not too late if I move to a 3rd world country and marry a gorilla. Teach them sign language, dress them in adult diapers and send them to New York City and to be accountants, no one would notice the difference between them and a real human being especially after teaching them to “flip the bird”.

I think I am going to look into the Big Guy’s business up stairs. Why “Heavenly Valley”? The angelic white snow, fighting with a million people to get to it, long wait lines,  cold as Hell! Hmmm this is starting to sound familiar…

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