Feb 012001

SAN DIEGO, CA–Local sports fan Greg Pruitt was taken to the Scripps Medical Center in San Diego on January 19th for treatment of tongue injuries sustained while trying to pronounce the name of a college football player predicted to be the NFL overall draft pick.

While discussing the upcoming season for the Chargers, who were a league-worst 1-15 last season, Pruitt mentioned the likelihood that the team would select Malakalonoahanalana Woczinowskyj-Al’Shaikh’Azbar with the first pick in the NFL draft held the weekend of April 17-18.

According to medical personnel who wished to remain unnamed, Pruitt managed to speak the player’s first name, also the name of his great-aunt’s favorite childhood Hawaiian playmate, as well as the first part of his last name, his mother’s Polish name, without incident. However, while attempting to pronounce the last part of Woczinowskyj-Al’Shaikh’Azbar’s name, inherited from his stepfather from Iran, his tongue became forcibly dislodged from the bottom of his mouth.

Emergency surgery on Pruitt was said to be “very successful”, and he is reportedly recuperating at McGee’s Sports Bar in La Jolla.

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