Apr 092002

1. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Let us hope the small head not the small one) I wonder how many people are employed in the Anti Masturbation squad? Guess they post rewards for turning in your brother spending too much time in the bathroom.

2. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. Which would account for so many Muslim men looking like drag queens when prepared for funeral ceremonies.

3. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. The reason for this is that under Guam’s law, it is forbidden for virgins to marry. Needless to say there were about 112 million men trying to obtain passage to Guam as soon as this sex law was uncovered. A major condom shortage ensued and Congress called a special session to vote that politically all Congress should immediately travel to Guam and see first hand the law making process in action.

4. In Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband… no other man before or after him. The first time they have intercourse, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. Men from the state of California have petitioned their Senator for inclusion of this law to be placed on the 2006 ballot. Since 46% of all married men polled thought their mother in law is hot and would like a threesome.

5. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. But another woman and his daughter? WEEEEEOOOO look out!!!!!!!!!!!

6. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.” Which explains why so many sexual acts take place in the 7th inning stretch at Baltimore Oriole games and why the players smack each other on the ass 498 times a game!

7. Saleswomen are allowed to be topless in Liverpool, England… but only in tropical fish stores. Which accounts for the riots and fights that breakout among fervent male fish owners and accounts for the massive shortage of tropical fish!

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