Oct 012000
 

The Luv DoctorI was getting ready for a dinna date with one of my sweet-ass honeys, when I looks in da mirra and thinks, DAMN, that’s one fine looking-ass pimp. While I was pulling down my jrours (the Doctor likes to look at all of his fine self) I hears a knock ats da door; and then some sucka starts to yell some mess abouts late rent and all dis noise. Now da Doctor ain’t gots no time for entertaining some fool; I gots to meet my little Spanish honey for dinna and I ain’t even dressed yet.

I makes a dash for my room when, BAM!!!! Da Doctor wakes up on da floor. PIMP TIP, never run with youse jrours down by youse ankles. I wasn’t outs for too long ’cause that fool was still yelling at da door. I managed to walk my dizzy-ass to da baffroom and take care of my bloody-ass nose. I finally pulls my ass togetha and gets ready to goes, when I remembas that fool is probably still out in da hall.

I looks at the time: 8 PM. I ain’t gots time to deal with no suckas… I’ll go outs da winda!! I know they’s a dumpster right underneath my 2nd story winda, and I figures, how hard can it be? Fools in da movies jump in them suckas all da time and they ain’t half the pimp I am. Now, I can’ts see da dumpster too goods ’cause da damn street light’s out but I can smells it right good. I shimmy my ass out da winda and jump. Now, youse know how suckas are always sayin’ how things move in slow motion when youse doing some heroic shit….that’s bull. Da Doctor fell like a damn rock. I didn’t even have time to scream (not that I woulda).

I hit that dumpster and realized da damn lids was closed. I bounced off da dumpster and into some bags of trash. The Doctor was hurtin’. I musta blacked out ’cause when I woked up some smelly-ass fool was going through my pockets. I hit that fool upside his head with a trash can lid and crawled out of da trash. I wasn’t walkin’ too good, havin’ suffered two concussions in an hour, but I had to go on (a lesser man woulda gots medical attention). I stumbled inta Ginger (the Doctor’s ’84 Caddy). A quick check in da mirra tolds me that my bloody nose was back… damn!!! I fumbled through Ginger’s glove box when I realized two of my fingers was broke… damn!!!!! I founds some old-ass Jack In The Crack napkins in da car and shoved um up my nose to stop da bleedin’. I put Ginger inta gear and hit da gas. Now, I coulda swore that damn light was green, the Doctor was still dizzy from his stunt, when some fool in one-a them F.U.V’s slammed inta Ginger.

When I woke up, some fools was putting me inta a bambulance ’cause I suffered my 3rd concussion or somethin’.

Pimp tip: Always wear youse seat belt, especially after massive head trauma. I guess my little Spanish honey would have to wait ’til I could remember my name.

PEACE OUT.

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