I was getting ready for a dinna date with one of my sweet-ass honeys, when I looks in da mirra and thinks, DAMN, that’s one fine looking-ass pimp. While I was pulling down my jrours (the Doctor likes to look at all of his fine self) I hears a knock ats da door; and then some sucka starts to yell some mess abouts late rent and all dis noise. Now da Doctor ain’t gots no time for entertaining some fool; I gots to meet my little Spanish honey for dinna and I ain’t even dressed yet.
I makes a dash for my room when, BAM!!!! Da Doctor wakes up on da floor. PIMP TIP, never run with youse jrours down by youse ankles. I wasn’t outs for too long ’cause that fool was still yelling at da door. I managed to walk my dizzy-ass to da baffroom and take care of my bloody-ass nose. I finally pulls my ass togetha and gets ready to goes, when I remembas that fool is probably still out in da hall.
I looks at the time: 8 PM. I ain’t gots time to deal with no suckasâ€¦ I’ll go outs da winda!! I know they’s a dumpster right underneath my 2nd story winda, and I figures, how hard can it be? Fools in da movies jump in them suckas all da time and they ain’t half the pimp I am. Now, I can’ts see da dumpster too goods ’cause da damn street light’s out but I can smells it right good. I shimmy my ass out da winda and jump. Now, youse know how suckas are always sayin’ how things move in slow motion when youse doing some heroic shitâ€¦.that’s bull. Da Doctor fell like a damn rock. I didn’t even have time to scream (not that I woulda).
I hit that dumpster and realized da damn lids was closed. I bounced off da dumpster and into some bags of trash. The Doctor was hurtin’. I musta blacked out ’cause when I woked up some smelly-ass fool was going through my pockets. I hit that fool upside his head with a trash can lid and crawled out of da trash. I wasn’t walkin’ too good, havin’ suffered two concussions in an hour, but I had to go on (a lesser man woulda gots medical attention). I stumbled inta Ginger (the Doctor’s ’84 Caddy). A quick check in da mirra tolds me that my bloody nose was back… damn!!! I fumbled through Ginger’s glove box when I realized two of my fingers was brokeâ€¦ damn!!!!! I founds some old-ass Jack In The Crack napkins in da car and shoved um up my nose to stop da bleedin’. I put Ginger inta gear and hit da gas. Now, I coulda swore that damn light was green, the Doctor was still dizzy from his stunt, when some fool in one-a them F.U.V’s slammed inta Ginger.
When I woke up, some fools was putting me inta a bambulance ’cause I suffered my 3rd concussion or somethin’.
Pimp tip: Always wear youse seat belt, especially after massive head trauma. I guess my little Spanish honey would have to wait ’til I could remember my name.