GUARDIANS

 Psycho Killer Movie Morsels  Comments Off on GUARDIANS
May 012017
 

It finally was available for viewing, and by “IT” I mean the Russian, hero-based movie named the “The Guardians”. Please never misconstrue this with the popular Marvel superhero-based group. Viewing this movie is akin to eating meat and potatoes without meat and potatoes; almost all substance seems to be missing.

The premise: A group of mutants, whose creation displays very little imagination, are brought together by an agency to fight an ultimate bad guy who utilizes computer technology 10-20 years in the past (Where the hell did they find a mono monitor and how is it running?). The ultimate bad guy has the power to control and manipulate all machinery. This begs the question I always quip in stories dealing with such phenomenon: how does equipment operate itself if there is NO mechanical mechanisms for it to do so? He dons a muscle-man latex prosthetic suit and growls and glowers constantly so we KNOW he is evil and not just constipated.

This teams consists of four meta humans who were genetically engineered and became so disgruntled, they hid themselves. Apparently, not too well since it takes 19 seconds of film time to locate all four.

The team consists of a male who can transform, in varying degrees, to a bear in horrifically bad CGI. Why not a chipmunk or ferret-man? You wish fierceness? How about a honey badger-man? I kept awaiting for the in joke about if a bear-man shits in the woods… Continue reading »