Apr 042002
 

Captain UnicornI am outraged at what I found in my supposedly private restroom at work today. That’s right; the Captain has his own restroom at the office. For those of you in the working world, you can appreciate the beauty of a private restroom. Those in school or at home, just think how great it would be not to have to share that dorm bathroom or the hall bathroom. Then multiply it by a factor of 27 and you have an idea how great it is to have your own personal shitter in the office. Before I get too far ahead of myself, I should probably give you all a little background.

Yes, Captain Unicorn has a day job. I do this for the same reason other Super Heroes do. That is I need to keep my identity secret. I work in the IS Department for a hi-tech firm in the Silicon Valley. I tell you this only to explain why I have a master key.

Cap's CrapperOur company has grown considerably and recently, I moved into another building on our relatively small campus. This building has the standard restrooms along with a single unisex restroom with locking door. My master key just so happens to work with this lock. Seeing the obvious magnificence of my own personal restroom, I locked the door so that only I and a few other people in IS and then the Facilities Department would have access. At first this was working out nicely. Especially since only two people in my building had access. Everyone else were scattered among the other 3 buildings. I never told my coworker in my building about this little room of sanctuary so it was all mine. I spoke with our Facilities Department and they had no problem with my situation. Let me tell you in the high stress world of IS, a place to go and unwind is a must. I noticed my stress level decreased

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