Apr 092002
 

BATAVIA, N.Y.—It’s not unusual for film reviewers to describe bad movies as “turkeys”—but it’s not often that a turkey bashes movies even though no one would know what the hell they were talking about anyway!

That’s what happened recently in western New York and the inhabitant actually understood what was being talked trash about…

Nancy Arena arrived at her Batavia video store the other day to find the front window smashed. Feathers and movie cases were scattered everywhere in particular the porno movies pertaining to bestiality with fowl.

She called police. When the officer arrived, he flushed a young tom turkey out of the science fiction section watching the movie Flesh Gordon and and chowing down on turkey chow.

An animal control officer eventually took the 12-pound bird away and since he is underage will be put in Juvie pound along with other underage misbehaving animals.

Arena said the episode “was kind of weird” because the turkey apparently went after the hunting videos first—and left some droppings on them. He seemed to have an affinity for the Ted Nugent hunting videos but I just figured he loved the motor city madman’s music style.

Spring is mating season for turkeys and wildlife experts. The police said the video-store crasher may have been looking for love like so many other lost souls by renting the movies Eight Fists Of Fury In Your Anus! and Where Has That Penis Been!

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