Mar 212001

MONTEREY, CA–At the local Monterey Marine Biological Symposium on Tues, Dr. Lenario Pharts gave a startling revelation as to his theory for the increasing number of whale pods beaching and killing themselves. “I believe that these whales have become members of a death cult,” Pharts explained. “It would explain why they beach themselves and refuse to be pulled back into the water.”

“What is even more startling is that the leader of the death cult is not a whale at all but a whale shark!” The doctor said that on a number of occasions he has observed pods of whales with a very shady looking whale shark wearing a rather dapper looking black fedora. “Whales are so easily misled since they are also called the gentle giants, they trust everyone.” Pharts stated that he had also observed young whale calves purchasing South American krill from suspicious looking sea otters off the Monterey shore. A rather incredulous Killer Whale could not be reached for comment on the subject.

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